The Last Word: Conflict

This is an exerpt from the second episode of the Truth & Grace Counseling Podcast. To view this podcast episode click here. Feel free to click the button below to check out the full podcast website.

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Today’s last word is conflict.

If you follow any type of independent conservative news or just check out the latest drama on Twitter or YouTube, you’ve probably seen something recently about Louder with Crowder, Stephen Crowder and Daily Wire. Now, the purpose of this is not to get into who’s right, who’s wrong, or really even comment on this situation at all. But something that has been talked about a lot in these conservative type of circles is conflict.

Should you be in fighting?

This is what’s being said. Should you be fighting with people that you mostly agree with? And why I wanted to talk about conflict is conflict is something that is absolutely unavoidable if you’re a human. So I think most of you reading this are humans. As Crhstians we know scripture very clearly says that the world will hate you.

18 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.”

-John 15:18 ESV

I think that’s very clear in today’s day and age. For example, simply saying, “a boy’s a boy and a girl’s a girl”, you will be hated. You will be discriminated against for having that type of opinion. So yes, there is the outside the worldly type of perspective that is going to have that hateful, conflicting type of response towards you.

But there is also conflict present in the church itself. Andy Stanley has been a part of a pretty major controversy lately with his views on homosexuality in the church. And if I have the mindset that conflict is the problem, I can’t speak out. I can’t do any “infighting” because conflict is sinful. Conflict is the problem.

Traditional church on stage

This is a very problematic stance to take.

If I have that mindset, then I can’t call Andy Stanley out when basically he’s promoting homosexuality in the church. Not just saying that you can come here and hear the word, but the view that homosexuality is not sinful at all. And if you are a Christian and believe in scripture, those are going to be conflicting views there. And you have to evaluate, is it loving for me to not say anything? Is it loving for me to avoid this conflict? Is letting Andy Stanley say these things from the pulpit and a loving stance? Or is it more loving to confront in a very assertive way? Now again, if our definition of conflict is yelling and screaming, calling each other’s names, and punching each other, then I agree that that’s not a good way to deal with conflict.

Free Evaluation

But just because I disagree with you and I’m calling someone out, that alone is not sinful. You can approach conflict in a very assertive, appropriate way, and the other person might even be angry. They might even be upset at you. However, you are not responsible for their response.

You are not responsible for their actions. You are not responsible for anybody else’s emotions other than your own. I need you to understand that conflict is not only not sinful, it’s also inevitable.

Butting Heads

Who Will You Have Conflict With?

“You will have conflict with every single person you come to contact with. ”

Now, there might be varying levels of conflict, but you will have disagreements. That’s just all there is to it. We need to learn how to deal with conflict in effective and loving ways. The important question is this: is it loving? Is it loving for me to call out a Christian and say “what you’re doing is sinful”?

I would argue that it is very loving to do that if you are doing it for the right reasons. If it’s a biblical way that you’re going about doing it, if you’re not slandering somebody by going behind their back or being a gossip. We need to have a way in the church, in your family and in your personal relationships to deal with conflict. Running away from conflict is dealing with it in a sense, but you’re just digging your head in the sand like an ostrich. And the problems tend to get worse.

So conflict is not the problem.

How we deal with it or the lack of dealing with it is the issue.